Annnnnddddd we're back! Welcome back to the news section, brothers and sisters. It's been a very very long time (LK kill I think) since we have shared what has been going on in our corner of the internet. Let me see what I can do to rectify that.
The last time we joined our heroes, they had just defeated the big, bad, granddaddy of them all, THE Lich King. Oh yes, he went down harder than a sack of potatoes. Or your mother. Or your mother in a sack of potatoes. Listen, the point is, we killed the son of a bitch. After doing a few repeat kills for posterity sake (also, Shatt couldn't get enough of t-bagging the guy) things were more-or-less wrapped up in the WOTLK saga. Sure, there was some dragon Blizzard released afterwards that we did kill. But who cares. What was his/her name again? Halizal? Maylion? Large Hadron Collider? I dunno, do you really care? Yeah, we didn't either.
All eyes were fixated on the next expansion, Cataclysm. Whispers started to roll down the foothills of an elite team being formed from within the ranks of The Beatdown Brigade. An alliance of old and new raiders. A group of nerds, forging an unstoppable force the likes of which had not been seen in an age. A bold new team that would dare take on He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (no not Voldemort you fucking nerd). Here they are seen in a local newspaper article.
And raid they did. After lazily leveling up to 85 roughly an entire month after the game was out, they decided to see what all this razz-ma-tazz was all about. Of course, in true BB fashion, we smashed up the joint. Killing 1-3 new bosses every week for about a month. Hit a small snag on some dude with multiple heads, but he killed him eventually.
Then, we got stuck on the most horrible boss of all. It was big, mean, had limitless HP, and was unrelenting. Yes, my friends, I am talking about the (gasp) REAL LIFE BOSS. Some had to move for new jobs. Some lost their jobs all-together. Others had a kid or finished up school. And a few other douche-bags dropped the game totally in favor of that new one. Opening...Cleft...Estrangement. You know the one. Aperture? Whatever. AND ALL HOPE WAS STARTING TO BE LOST!!!
But fear not. Order was restored. We restored our ranks with the best-of-the-best. Undiscovered prodigies. True masters (of the universe). Such stunners as:
Raphial "THIS is the worst boss ever" Martenez
Bigfatmatt "I wish I was high" Garcia
Xaspen "lol in a hotel again" Banderas
Risenseraph "i can bring my DK" Lopez
Highprofit "you know im just going to quit, right?" Fernandez
and
Lamerabix "you can't understand a word I say" Gomez
And so, we stormed the proverbial beaches of BoT and BWD once again. Vanquishing Cho'gall and Nefarian (AGAIN) months before the next content would arrive. So, being the Rico Suaves that we were, we took a break. A month long break. Because heroics are not fun. ITS THE SAME FUCKING ENCOUNTERS, BLIZZARD.
4.2 dropped, and with it, a new raid instance. The Firelands (aka MOLTEN CORE 2: THIS TIME, IT'S PERSONAL) was upon us so we decided to don our Epic Gloves of Uber Buttfucking Destruction and lay the smackdown once again. We have been trashing a new boss every week and are getting close to ol' Fire Crotch himself, Ragnaros. As it stands, we are 4/7 in FL with a goddamn close kill on the fire bird. Not too shabby if you consider we raid 6 hours per week, 5.5 of those waiting for Risen to get his Noggenfogger.
I promise to do my best to not let the news go wanting again, and if it does...well fuck you too buddy, I got shit to do!
Oh, and can someone get this woman's phone number please? I would like to buy HER a beer.
